Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
