Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
