Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
