he thought i was a dude.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
