how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I need to align my fucking chakras
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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