Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
ok first of all what the fuck
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
