The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
