Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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