I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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