dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
