Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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