If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize