we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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