This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
