Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
