yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You were trust falling into bushes
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
