i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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