I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
