I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
