I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Your cock deserves a montage
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
