Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
