I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
