he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
