Have you finally orgasmed yet?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
