I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
