dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize