Quick, to the slutcave!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
