did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize