I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
