at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
