she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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