That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
it's like iHOP with fire
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
