Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
