She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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