I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
