i think i have herpe
just one?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
