i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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