10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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