why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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