Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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