why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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