So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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