i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
