I smell stomach acid.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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