Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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