Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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