Someone shit on the floor
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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