there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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