literally had 100 drinks last night.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
