Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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