Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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