I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
