Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
