shes about as inviting as chlamydia
false alarm. still invincible.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
