Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
