I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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