So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i think i just lost a toe
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
