that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
